Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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