party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
