so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
