I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Are my feet made of real feet?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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