His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
