We won't sleep together?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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