I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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