Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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