Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
