I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
