before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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