I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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