sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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