Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
