yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
