I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
