How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
we should paint friendship bongs
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