I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is the high leading the old right now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
