sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize