She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You are the jesus of drinking
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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