That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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