I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
