You work out of a Hotel?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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