you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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