forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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