I puked a lego.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
