just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
time to smoke my breakfast
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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