So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
