i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
