i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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