well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
4 words: hood of his car
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
