I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
