Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
