seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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