Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
