How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
