Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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