Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
