hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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