i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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