Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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