3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
