so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How does it feel to date your dad?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
