'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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