You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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