I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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