office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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