Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
