I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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