All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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