dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize