I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize