What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
