ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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