The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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