Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
