How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Randomize
