I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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