We named our party play list daddy issues
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
