What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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