i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
