Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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