Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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