thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
