Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
