i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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