I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
