Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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