she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
